Equivocality

What Is It?

The Lap Dance Exchange (or LDE as we in the know call it) is a recurring private party based around the idea of “a strip club for everyone.” Unlike professional strip shows where all the dancers are skinny white girls with fake boobs, no one is too fat, skinny, hairy, awkward, or shy for the LDE. You aren’t required to wear 5 inch heels and a thong or makeup and big hair. Another big difference is the participatory element: nearly everyone present ends up dancing, which really makes the audience very supportive!

The party was created by Bequi Craig, who hosted the first two events at Burning Man 2002, the best place to create something that should exist but doesn’t. Shortly thereafter, we attempted to recreate this unique atmosphere in the Real World by holding an event in a private home, and it was a huge success. Since then there have been a number of events, all the while maintaining the unique initimate atmosphere.

Why?

Bequi says: “I’ve always wanted to be a stripper, but I don’t want to wear knee crushing heels, shave my body hair regularly, or do sit-ups to get rid my cute girl-belly. I’d like to watch strippers if they didn’t look so much like Barbie and Ken dolls. (I know, they aren’t all like that, but the aesthetic is hard to get away from.) After talking with friends who felt the same way, I wanted to open a club for the stripping that WE wanted. The LDE was born. It’s become a safe space for people to expand their boundaries, celebrate their bodies, and try a new form of self expression. ”

It’s amazing to see people grow by doing this. So many people have told me that they “could never do that”, and then gone on to do it anyway and do it spectacularly. I think a lot of this has to do with the fact that are many pople interested in exploring their exhibitionist side, but there are not many places to do that safely. The LDE fills a need by providing a unique venue for self discovery, and it’s amazing to witnes that flush of excitement when someone does something they never thought they could, whether that’s taking their clothes off in public or getting on stage and dancing. And people are so creative about it!

What is an event like?

First off, they are fairly small, never more than around 25 people, and held in a private space. The crowd is usualy split pretty evenly between men and women (the men dance too, of course!) It’s been a mostly straight crowd so far but we’d like to actively encourage more queer presence. The Lap Dance Exchange is an invitation only event, although each dancer is allowed to bring one friend. We strive to create an intimate atmosphere where people feel safe exposing themselves in more ways than one.

An MC or (several) hosts the evening. While we have certain essential items on hand (a stool, boas, etc.) generally each performer brings their own costumes and props, and music which they give to the DJ beforehand. They also relay their lighting directions and any other requirements to the hosts before proceeding to the changing area. This is behind the curtain which leads to the stage, through which the dancers emerge after being introduced.

The atmosphere is somewhere between a casual get-together with friends and a night at the theatre. Really it’s sort of a salon. There is lots of soft seating and time between acts (so the performers can change!) to chat with the other guests. There’s typically alcohol but it’s not about heavy drinking — although the MC has been known to make a wicked chocolate martini.

What are the acts like?

Really varied. They have ranged from very silly to very hot (also very silly and very hot). Some of them have even been Art. In fact there are always one or two acts which amaze and delight us with their creativity, and we really enjoy how some people have chosen to view the event as a venue for performance art. There have been duets and trios. Lots of cross dressing. Audience participation. Video cameras (used by the performers — we do not allow audience recordings of any kind.) People tieing each other up or literally cutting each other’s clothes off. Polarized glass. Monologues. An amazing piece by a pregnant woman. Surprise endings.

We don’t care what you do up there, as long as it has something to do with taking your clothes off, and more importantly, something that for you is exciting, sexy, scary, new, creative, and/or just plain fun!

Please note however that most of the acts are at least a little silly and awkward, and sometimes go completely not according to plan, because none of us are professionals. No pressure here.

How much clothing am I expected take off?

Most performers end up nude. This is not required, The point of the evening is to push your boundaries, not to hurt yourself. Topless is fine. Hell, keeping your clothes on is fine too — but many people find that the hardest part is just getting out there and shaking your ass in front of an audience, so you may be surpised to discover that getting nekkid is the easy part.

Just how far do things go at this party?

Despite the name, there have been very few actual lap dances exchanged at the LDE, and those have mostly been between established couples. If giving a lap dance to a friend, acquantance, or stranger is something you want to try however, we encourage you to explore your boundaries. We’ve also seen some pretty raunchy double acts on stage, and we’re fine with that, but we’re not asking for it. However, the LDE is not a sex party. We expect you to be titilated, stimulated, even (gosh!) aroused by the evening, but you’ll have to actually get off somewhere else.

Rules and Reassurance

• Please arrive on time! Cocktails at 7, performances start at 8. Arriving in the middle of a performance is very rude.
• Come prepared to strip, or bring someone who is. Each stripper can only accompany one non-strippers .
• Remember to bring music to strip to. You will feel much more comfortable with a song you know. It helps to at least listen to the song a few times and possibly rehearse your act beforehand.
• Strip out of something that makes you feel good, but pay attention to how difficult it might be to take off. If you must wear the 50-hook corset, practice taking it off beforehand, do a duet with a partner, or be a tease and just leave it on.
• Please RSVP. The spaces we use are very small, and we need to restrict the attendance for reasons of time and atmosphere.

This entry was posted on Friday, December 2nd, 2005 at 1:15 pm and is filed under Art. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.